Don’t ask for whom the boost burns, the boost burns
for thee.
Actually, it burns for me.
I have reached a pinnacle 72 hours played on Burnout 3 and for the life
of me cannot complete the last 3% of the game. Many have said, “It
is time to move on. Let slip that asphalt coil,” but once something
has commenced I cannot stand idle until I’ve shifted into 5th gear
and then beyond. And overdrive is not 97/100 it is 100/100. I must unlock
every vehicle. I must manage to run someone into a waterfront tram and
worst of all I must coddle my opponent into a semi truck hauling a speedboat.
There are other tasks that remain unfinished, but here, at work –
those are the tasks that haunt my daily routine.
Is it possible? Has anyone completed the game in its entirety? Those
of Penny Arcade acclaim did lavish attention, like a turtle wax polish,
upon the game during its inception and qualifying lap around the EB Games
store. Intrigued at the concept of winning a race, not through skill of
shifting and handling the corner, but by annihilating those on the field
by slamming my Dominator Super car into theirs until they flip, spin,
roof slide, jump the rail and leap into the canyon below thereby knocking
them out of the race for several seconds, time by which I have boosted
eagerly ahead to the next competitor.
But I think that enough is enough. Unless miracles of miracles happen
and somehow I am able to meld with the formula 1 racer, Gold will forever
remain out of my grasp and that one final race will forever remain locked.
And after three complete days, where the sun revolves the earth as it
did in olden times while I am locked before the machine for that fiery
orb’s revolutions… I must assume the mantle of defeat, watch
as my vehicle is towed off the track, and declare – nay –
vehemently vow that revenge will be mine.
So today I am picking up Burnout Revenge and moving on.
Kyle
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